THE VIEW FROM HEIMBU
NOVEMBER 2004
While it is tempting to compare Tony Blair to Hitler it would in fact be deeply unjust; Blair has neither developed an efficient road transport system, nor got the trains running on time.
In fact the trains don't seem to be running at all. We are just being told that due to trains running late in Autumn because of leaves on the tracks, the service between Hull and Manchester Airport has been cancelled until Spring. Somehow they made it sound as this was of benefit to passengers. We now no longer have to wonder whether trains will show or not; we know that they won't. Cheers.
The People's Party has finally managed to reduce the stream of asylum seekers into Blighty by simply making life here so rotten that no-one in their right mind would want to come. In fact 54% of the native population is considering getting out, too. One family has already been granted asylum in Germany due to the children being imprisoned by Her Majesty's Government without ever having been before a proper court.
So George W. has got another 4 years in the White House ; a fact that has upset the British media and the political establishment no end. They have more or less stated that democracy is not safe in the hands of American voters, and having got a drubbing in the North-East of this country on regional assemblies, one has the feeling that the Government is not too keen on the English electorate, either.
"Omnes moritatem. Deus suos cognoscet."
Seems liked both the Jihadis and the Crusaders at least can agree on something.
If you can't bee a good example, at least you can be a warning to others.
So they finally have gone and done the deed. After having been used as a sop by Blair for 7 years whenever he has been in trouble with the backbenchers, he lost control of them this month and the "Hunting with Dogs" bill was pushed through using the Parliament Act. From the 18th of February next year a large section of the English countryside will be officially outlaws. With every-one soon being forced to carry ID cards I presume I will have to fill in the "occupation" slot as "part-time criminal".
As a result of the ban, son Erling has joined his local hunt down in Cheshire. He came home last week-end and raided my wardrobe, as until now he has never wanted to be seen wearing any country clothes. So my best cords, my Babour jacket, my bespoke brogues and several of my tweed hacking jackets are now but a distant memory.
Tessa Howell, the Culture Minister, has complained that a small, but vocal group of "prejudiced snobs" have been trying to stop people from enjoying themselves after forcing the Government to modify plans for having hundreds of Las Vegas style casinos up and down the country.
Tally ho, Tessa?
Are the coppers finally doing something to stop burglars going about their business? The latest crime figures show a big drop in committed burglaries, but as is often the case, statistics don't tell the whole story. Having a word with my contact in the criminal fraternity I was told that the real reason was strictly a business decission. Electrical goods like televisions and computers are now so cheap that it doesn't pay to steal them, and as people no longer keep cash at home, there is no point.
Ever wondered why any-one would pay £60,000.- a year to rent a couple of flats in Bristol? Would it make more sense to you if you were told that the flats belong to the Dear Leader, and that the flats are rented by a company that has just been awarded a two billion pound contract by the British Government?
The Queen's Speech was sobering reading. The Government is now planning to introduce ASBOs (anti-social behaviour order) to be used on any-one they don't like. So, if Labour wins the coming election, you can be given house arrest without having been through any court, and if you leave the house you can be locked up for as long as it suits the authorities.
In fact it seems that the coming election will be fought by scaring the living daylight out of us. Irrelevancies like education and the NHS are no longer sexy; everything now is about security. The Dear Leader and one of his henchmen have stated that only the People's Party can be trusted to protect us from terrorists and criminals, from smokers and asylum seekers, from junk food manufacturers and fox hunters, from juries and civil rights advocates. It nice to see that someone watches over us, I'm sure, but who will protect us from the protectors?
The staff at the Bristol Royal Infirmary for Children has concluded in a study that traditional Nursery rhymes like Humpty Dumpty, Jack and Jill and Simple Simon are 10 times more violent than TV programs and ought to be banned. One would hope that they are being sarcastic, but somehow I don't think so. Are the inmates now truly running the asylums in this country?
When rhubarb is outlawed, only outlaws will have rhubarb.
One of my few remaining pleasures in life is a big bowl of chilled rhubarb soup out in the garden on a sunny Summer afternoon. But for how long, I wonder. A 50 year old local woman has just been hauled before the magistrates charged with aussault with a deadly weapon after throwing 3 stalks of rhubarb at her 72 year old brother. I fear some Member of Parliament will soon introduce a bill to combat the growing rhubarb culture that is making our streets unsafe.
The Leader of Her Majesty's loyal opposition has publicly complained that Labour is stealing all their policies. Which seems fair comment, but exactly why is he complaining? Surely politicians enter public life because they believe what they are doing will be of benefit to socity. Shouldn't he be happy that is ideas are now being realized? Well, if you believe that, I have some shares in Buckingham Palace that you might be interested in as an investment.
Charles "Rot-the-Lot" Clarke, the Education Secretary, after publicly rebuking Prince Charles for having common sense views on education, has now turned his energy to dealing with the problem that there are still a few good state schools remaining. These will now be forced to take in disruptive students from the bog standard sink schools on the principle that a few rotten apples will infect the whole barrel.
However, not all the Government's policies are failing. One of their main ideas is to encourage competition in all aspects of public life in order to drive down prices and keep inflation to a minimum. At least the drugs trade has come through with flying colours. A line of kokain is now cheaper than a glass of wine, ecstasy tablets are down to less than a quid, heroin is, if you'll excuse a pun, a drug on the market and marihuana is cheaper than tobacco.
Us old geezers who go on about "the good old days" in the fifties has been put in our place by Government funded research that shows how much better off we are now. We didn't have mobiles or television, no DVD players or video cameras, only landlines and radio, grammaphones and 8 millie home movies. Only the well-off could afford a car, so most of us had to walk or use a bicycle, and our wardrobe was so limited that we only changed shirts every 3 days. There were few jobs available for women, so they had to endure staying home cooking meals and generally looking after the children.
If only I had known how deprived I was. How I would have envied children growing up today who can spend their time doing nothing but watching the telly and playing video games, who don't have to walk or cycle to school, who can afford to eat enormous amount of junk that we hadn't even heard of instead of having to be force-fed healthy, homecooked meals. Nor did we have easy access to treatment for obesity and diabetes, and our parents were always around interfering in our behavior, I didn't have 50 newly laundered Tee-shirts, either.
The coming I.D. cards seems to be more and more illiberal by the hour. We are now told that apart from the fact that it will cost each of us £85.- we will also be fined £1,000.- if we move house and don't inform Big Brother first, not to mention that it will be £2,500.- if any information is later found to have been incorrect. So I'm afraid that the lady's privelege of staying 39 years of age for a decade is going down the drain. While the cards were originally to be volentary, it will now be an offense not to have them, and I presume you will soon be locked up if you happened to leave yours at home, too.
Reading through this month's View I realize that it mostly one long rant about our dear Government, but they really seem to have lost all sense of reality lately, not that the Opposition is any better. I'll try to get into the Festive Season mood and be sweeter natured next month. Cheers.