JUNE 2002
The Queens Jubilee Year has got off to a rousing start to the obvious annoyance of the Dear Leader of the People's Party and his wife. The other day the bully boys were sent into Kensington Palace to check on the minor royals and their grace-and-favour appartments. The spin doctors are now putting it out that it is not fair to lowpaid London workers that the Queen's relatives and retired servants (though somehow they haven't mentioned the servants) are not paying commercial rents. Around £10,000.- a week seems to be favoured as the going rate for a palace appartment. (How much are the Blairs paying a week for no. 10 by the way?)
Staying with the Dear Leader he popped up on the telly to say that he found it incredible that anyone could really believe that he had tried to muscle in on the Queen Mother's Funeral. He must be just about the only person left in Britain who would find it unbelievable. But I suppose if you can say with a straight face that the fact that the business tycoon Gulam Moon's donation of a cool £100,000.- to the Labour Party had absolutely nothing to do with him receiving a knighthood you have completely lost contact with the real world.
A few quotes from the bible for the government (some slightly altered)
He who lives by spin shall surely perish by spin.
They have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind.
Ye have plowed wickedness,ye have reaped iniquity,ye have eaten the fruits of
lies.
The latest newsflash is that Labour heavyweights are calling for the sacking of Black Rod. That was of course predictable; someone who refuse to lie when ordered to do so by the Dear Leader is obviously not to be trusted.
"A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in."
Greek Proverb
Daughter Aki has just been home on a short "Busman's Holiday". Moggy, the Heimbu cat, has been shaking his head a lot lately, and has started to loose the hair on his tail. A quick inspection by Aki confirmed my suspicion of earmites, and a trip to the vet was deemed neccecary. We borrowed a "crush-cage" and I was elected to be the bad guy. I managed to get hold of him and lift him into the cage, and off we went to the vet. Moggy was definately not amused (and neither was the vet after he did a number on her), but things have sort of settled down now. The main problem now is that we have to give him medicine once a day, and the only way to do it is to put it in his favourite food. So it is lasagna every day for Moggy. (I kid you not)
Since a certain kind of social commentator feels that the answer to anything is a new law, we suggest that what Palestine needs is a new law against the irresponsible use of high explosives.
Jeff Cooper
"Youth may be an explanation for stupidity, but not an excuse."
Anonymous
A man is awakened by his wife who says she hears something. He gets up and looks around and sure enough sees thugs carrying stuff out of the shed behind his house and putting it in a vehicle. He dials 999. He is told that no officer is available at the moment - that it will be about 90 minutes before they can get to him. He hangs up, counts to 30 and dials 999 again. He says, "There's no hurry, I've shot them." Within three minutes he has three patrol cars and a police helicopter in his backgarden. The duty officer says, "I thought you said you shot them." The man looks at the duty officer and says, "I thought you said it would be 90 minutes."
This is a story that is doing the rounds in both the UK and America at the moment. It might even have happened somewhere, but whether it is true or not it points out a fact that is becoming more and more obvious; the authorities main worry is not crime, but the fear that the average man and woman one day would actually wake up and ask the dreaded question "Do we actually need the Government? Is it doing something that we can't actually do better ourself and a lot cheaper too boot? Our children are not being educated, our hospitals are not working, public transport is a joke (and a dangerous one at that), the justice system has completely broken down with only 9 per cent of reported crimes actually ending with any kind of punishment, (it's estimated that only around 40 per cent of crimes are being reported, which makes the statistics even worse); it goes on and on.
Just a small reminder if you are worried about street crime; it's only 2 months till it will be sorted. According to the Dear Leader our glorious Government will have wiped out street crime by September. (The crime rate has gone up on an average of 6 per cent since the announcement, but I'm sure the spin doctors will take care of that.)
It does seem that at this point coping is unfashionable. A man who can cope is an elitist, which is a very dreadful thing to be. If you can cope, you are better than other people, and those other people tend to hate you for it. Consider the use of the English language. If you use it well you will be held up to scorn and ridiculed by a majority - especially in England, of all places. The English language is a marvelous instrument, and no one ever really masters it, but it is nonetheless great fun to try. If people hiss at you for trying, let them hiss. They are the losers.
Jeff Cooper
I've just had a chat with a Real Estate Agent who told me he has noticed that a lot of property coming unto the market lately are put up by people who are getting out of Blighty, mostly small businessmen, teachers, doctors and nurses; the kind of people Britain really cannot afford to lose. So far he has not heard of a single politician thinking of emigrating. That figures.
Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.
P.J. O'Rourke
I've just had my car through the yearly M.O.T. and it has cost me more than my yearly salary 30 years ago. New exhaust pipe needed, hole in the chassis had to be welded, I had a 3-wheel drive instead of a 4-wheel drive, the brakepads were waferthin and one of the tyres were worn down to the metalwires. It seems like I have to think about making some money again which always irritates me. Oh, well.
"That a free citizen should have to go before a committee, hat in hand, and pray for permission to bear arms - fantastic! Arm your daughter, sir, and pay no attention to petty bureaucrats." Robert Heinlein - Red Planet
We produce an enormous amount of cherries every year here at Heimbu, but so far in the 10 years that we have been living here we have not been able to eat a single one. The local bird population are always just one day ahead of us and strip every single cherry from the trees. But at least they share 50-50 the strawberries and the apples, so one mustn't grumble.
There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him.
--R.A. Heinlein
"Politicians and nappies should both be changed regularly and for the same reason."