THE VIEW FROM HEIMBU

JANUARY 2002

The new year has started cold and frosty, but at least it is sunny. The bank account is empty after the Yule celebration, but at least I have a full fuel tank in the car, the freezer is full of meat (thanks to Bronwen) and the bills shouldn't start to arrive for a few weeks yet, so for the moment life's not treating me too badly.


The Fair Commitee met yesterday and things seem to be moving ahead rapidly now. It was decided to call the affair THE STAV HEIMBU FEST. This year we will have the 10th annual Stav Summer Course and Thing, and (hopefully) the 1st Stav Heimbu Fest. Today I have had a long tecnical discussion (which went straight over my head, mostly) with our brewer regarding the official festival beer. It was agreed to use John Roy's suggestion, and call the concoction HEIMBrU.


Another local business packed it in over the festive season. Peck and son has been serving traditional fish and chips in Beverley for more than 70 years, but the bureaucracy and competition from national fastfood chains finally proved too much.


On an even sadder note Mr. Smith, the last racehorse trainer in Beverly, an all-round good (if gruff) egg died just before the end of the year. The town is certainly poorer with his passing.


I see that our Government has committed itself to spend £30,000,000,000 on upgrading the railways in the next 10 years. At the same time it is reported that Yorkshire has the most cancellations of trains and the most rundown parts of the network, so I guess it stands to reason that almost all the money is being spent in the South-East.


Hovhund update:
I had an E-mail from David Watkinson yesterday saying that his bitch Embla has finally got into heat again. Hopefully there will be puppies this time.

I also had a long phone call from daughter Aki regarding the state of dogs in this country. She's in general vet practise up in Edinburgh, and her opinion of the Kennel Club can not be repeated on a site that is accessible to children. She is getting in dogs of just about all breeds that can hardly function because of genetical problems, but many of them are Champions, winning show after show, and worth a fortune as stud dogs, even if they can hardly walk or breathe, and have been on medication since they were puppies.

Obviously culling will have to be fairly ruthless if the Hovhund is to match our expextations.


Guru say: The purpose of training is to fit you for a trade. The purpose of education is to make you better company for yourself.


Some coppers still seems to be on to a good thing in this country. The latest I've heard of is one who is sueing because exposure to marihuana on the job made him start snoring, another is sueing because she suffered a nervous breakdown when she heard a shot being fired. Another female officer was investigating a case of shoplifting when she was told to attend to a kidnapping of a small child. She refused because she was too busy. Her chief constable fired her, and quite right too, in my opinion. She then sued for sexual discrimination, though how she figured that one out is beyond me. Anyway, she was recently awarded £50,000 in damages and reinstated in the job.


Most Yorkshire people are regarding themselves as being very well balanced. Mostly it comes down to the fact that they have a chip on either shoulder.


We can all rest assured that the Government is leaving no stone unturned in their quest for terrorists. Police officers applying to join Special Branch are requiered to have an intimate knowledge of those dangerous subversives, theTeletubbies, which are wearing disguises, don't speak English and most suspiciously; they live in underground caves. Obviously a cell of al-Qa'ida.


Speaking of al-Qa'ida many of our MPs seem to have confused the War on Terrorism with the war in Afghanistan. They evidently believe that now that the war is over everyone, including the Taliban and al-Qa'ida prisoners, should go home and live happily ever after.


As I mentioned last year I am teaching Stav once a week at a local comprehensive, but I seem to have a problem getting across to some of the kids that I am teaching them a Martial Art. They don't believe it because it doesn't look like Karate. My explanation that Karate is not a Martial Art was met by blank stares. Though I suppose I can't blame them; most adults who train in Karate seem to believe it is a Martial Art, too, even if they should know better.


I've seen this written on a package in the local supermarket.
This rocksalt comes from underground caves in Austria and is 23 million years old.
Best before April 2003


The weather has been showing who is the boss again. Winds up to 100 miles an hour, rain and snow. As of now seven people reported dead, 90.000 houses without electricity. I have just been talking to daughter Aki on the phone; she has spent most of the day shifting haybales around the barn as all the skylight blew off the roof and the rain poured in. As we were talking her electric power disappeared just as she was putting the kettle on. Here at Heimbu we seem to have got off fairly lightly. Apart from a few smashed panels in one of the greenhouses I have not found any damage.


Twenty-five years ago, during the Queen's Silver Jubelee, street parties sprang up spontanously all over Britain, but this year, in her Golden Jubelee, nothing much seems to have been planned. According to the media this shows that she has become irrelevant to most people's life. Maybe so, but that has never stopped anyone from having a good knees-up. In fact, I believe the usual suspects are to blame. Our local residents association recently decided we should like to do something, especially since the Queen will be visiting Beverley, but clipboardman has shown that he is ready to put a damper on any initiative. The Health and Safety Executive would have to be informed of all plans; we would need a qualified electrician on the spot if we intended to boil water for a cup of tea; someone with a Food Standard Certificate would have to be responsible if we intended to eat as much as a biscuit; the Police Department, the Fire Department , the Ambulance Service and the Coast Guard had to be informed. As Beverley is seven miles from the sea we queried the last one, and after much soulsearching it was decided that possibly the Coast Guard could be omitted as long as we did not intend to have any splashing pool for the little kids.


The latest on the Hovhund:
I have just had a word with David, and things don't look good. He had just taken Embla to be mated, and it seems she and the stud dog hated each other on sight, and it all developed into a massive brawl. He'll give her one more chance next season, and if things don't work out then, he'll consider getting a new foundation bitch. A shame, really, as she is a magnificent beast.