THE VIEW FROM HEIMBU

February 2001

The new year has started well. I have finally got Bronwen flying free, and on our first day out she stooped straight out of a tree and nailed a rabbit. Classical falconry. She is a brilliant hawk (though she footed me again while I was checking her weight. Oh, well. It's worth it .)

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After the government made sure that only  carrer criminals can have a pistol there has been a veritable plague of gunfights in the Leeds-Bradford area. With the ancient right of self-defence for all practical purposes abolished there is not much that keeps the criminal element in check anymore.
However, if one rather takes one's chances in court than the certainty of death or serious injury in the real world what are the options? If you are trained in Stav a good, stout walkingstick is probably your best bet, or a staff out in the countryside. You might get away with carrying a tactical folding knife as long as you don't have to use it; acording to the local constabulary you can legally buy one, as long as you don't own one. (Yes, I know. It didn't make any sense to me either.)
Strangely enough, you can legally own a revolver if the barrel is more than 12 inches (a Buntline Special) or (and this is where it gets interesting) if it is a muzzleloader. A muzzleloading revolver is actually a serious weapon and some of them are quite easily conceiled using a proper holster. Food for thought.

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The weather is still completely out of wack. At one moment - 10C and a veritable blizzard; 30 minutes later +10 and  a 70 miles per hour wind.

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How Did You Die

by
Edmund Vance Cooke
Did you tackle the trouble that came your way
    With a resolute heart and cheerful?
Or hide your face from the light of day
    With a craven soul and fearful?
Oh, a trouble's a ton, or a trouble's an ounce,
    Or trouble is what you make it.
And it isn't the fact that you're hurt that counts,
    But only how did you take it?

You are beaten to earth? Well, well, what's that?
    Come up with a smiling face.
It's nothing against you to fall down flat,
    But to lie there­that's the disgrace.
The harder you're thrown, why the harder you bounce;
    Be proud of your blackened eye.
It isn't the fact that your licked that counts;
    Its how did you fight and why?

And though you be done to death, what then?
    If you battled the best you could;
If you played your part in the world of men,
    Why the Critic will call it good.
Death comes with a crawl, or comes with a pounce,
    And whether he's slow or spry,
It isn't the fact that you're dead that counts,
    But only how did you die
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Everyone seems to be expecting a general election in May though one can wonder what's the point. Usually one has a choice between bad or worse, but the option now seems to be only between worse or equally worse. Personally it is a bit academic as I do not have the vote in the UK, but if I had I think I would be inclined to vote Liberal; not because I agree with their politics, but they are generally so wishy-washy that hopefully not too much harm would be done.
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"Never give in. Never, never, never, never! Never yield in any way, great or small, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force and the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy...." -- Winston Churchill
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The gloves are finally off; the government has declared open war. Strangled in red tape, their livelihood destroyed; the final nail is being hammered into the coffin of the small farmer and anyone trying to work in the countryside. The "hunting with dogs" bill is the final straw. Make no mistake about it, this bill has nothing to do with animal rights or even class war. People living and working in the countryside can still fend and think for themselves if they have to; this is deeply subversive in the eyes of the establishment and can not be allowed.
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In the age of the common man everyone and everything must be average. Trying to test one's limits are deemed elitist. Schools are not allowed to educate their students in any way, but must follow the national curriculum which bores the living daylight out of both students and teachers. One must be able to pass tests, but under no circumstances must one have an original thought. Mediocrity is the goal to strive for in all aspects of life, school, business or government.
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According to our local newspaper the full weight of the law is coming down on a market trader who was found to sell bananas by the pound. A custodial sentence is not ruled out. All very odd as according to British law one is free to use either Imperial or metric weights, but government regulations prohibit the use of Imperial weights, meaning that  parliament  for all practical purposes has been sidelined?
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The crime statistics for 1999-2000 are just out. There were 42 people killed with handguns last year, more than any other year on record. Some 3,685 crimed involving handguns were recorded, including 42 homicides, 310 cases of attempted murder, 2,651 robberies and 204 burglaries. The total was 37% up since all handguns were banned.in November 1997. The government's reaction. They want to introduce laws banning imitaition guns and airguns. That would presumably do it.
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Oh, the joy of falconry. I was flying Bronwen again today. She went for a pheasant and missed. Nothing else showed and after 2 hours I called her to the fist. She came like a rocket, footed me in the face (again) and buggered off with my glasses, Luckily she dropped them otherwise I would have been stuck in the middle of nowhere as I wouldn't be able to see to drive. Got her back down again after I managed to stem the blood, I think I need to have a serious discussion with her about this while I still have a face left. It may not be much of a face, but it is the only one I've got.
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The Scottish Fire Service Fairness and Diversity Forum, set up to tackle sexism, wants to shelve the title "firefighter" because "it is too agressive". Maybe these people need to be gainfully employed.
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The local porno video shop owner was hauled up before the magistrates the other day and fined £6,000 for selling videos that were not explicit enough. I remember when it used to be the other way around.
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The Commons has passed the "Hunting with Dogs" bill that will now go to the Lords which will send it back if they have the time to do so before the General Election. All very useful for the Government which can re-cycle it for years. The end result will be to allow hunting, but with another layer of un-neccessary bureaucracy. Watch this space.
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Three years ago my daughter received a letter from our local council which asked why she hadn't applied for her university tuition fee to be paid by the council. Thinking she might save £1000.- a year she did apply, and was turned down on the ground that her father (that's me) was neither working nor receiving unemployment benefits. Being curious about this I had a word with a council officer regarding what the rules were, and was told I could make up to £30,000.- a year, and they would still pay, Their computer, however, was not programmed to handle some-one like me, so it crashed every time they put my daughter's application in, nor could they over-ride it, as this possibility was not covered by government guidelines.
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British Gas did the yearly service on our central heating boiler the other day. Next morning we noticed a strong smell of gas and called the emercency number. A chap from Transco came and closed down the whole system after finding that one valve in the boiler had not been tightened enough. He then called British Gas who sent someone to tighten the valve. Apparently the Transco man was prohibited by government rules and regulations from working on the boiler, while the BG man could not switch off the gas. All rather curious as they used to be the same company before they were split to encourage competition.
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If you are not a socialist by the time you are 20 you have no heart.
If you are still a socialist by the time you are 30 you have no brains.
If you are not a cynic by the time you are 40 you have not been paying attention.
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Erling has finally got his new Freelander from the insurance company so he has been coming out of it rather well. As usual I will be the one to get hit in the wallet, as his car was insured in my name so I will be losing bonus big time.
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It has been suggested (by Shaun) that these musings read like something straight out of the Anarchist's Manifesto, something that I found rather surprising. Like many of my generation and class I am rather conservative (with a small c) not to say reactionary (when did people stop tugging their forelock?), but maybe he has a point.
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