AUGUST 2002
The month didn't excectly start on a great note. On my way to a Stav seminar in Norway I was involved in a major pile-up on the motorway just 10 minutes drive from the airport. Driving a tank (Land-Rover Discovery) my car came out of it with just a small scratch on the front bumber, but both the car in front of me and the one behind looked like a pair of accordions. Luckily no-one was injured, but I missed my flight by 15 minutes and had to spend the night trying to sleep on a bench at the airport, catching the first plane out next morning.
Norway proved a bit of a shock to the system. The thermometre hit 32C, dropping to 21C at night, temperatures that I had never before experienced in the old country, and the humidity was like in a tropical rain forest. And it rained, and it rained, and it rained. First time we've had floods in Summer; we usually get them when the snow melts in Spring.
They had booked me into a very nice hotel, and as I hadn't had too much sleep the night before it was pure heaven to just lie down in bed and doze off. Around 2:30 in the morning the fire alarm went off, and everyone were hustled outside where we were waiting in the pouring rain while mamagement tried to find the fire. It eventually turned out that a heavy smoker on the top floor had been more than the smoke detector could cope with. So we all were allowed back to bed, thoroughly wet and miserable. But at least the seminar went all right, though more misery was awaiting me at home, courtesy of the East Riding of Yorkshire Council and the weathergods (see prelim report on the Heimbu website)
Daughter Aki has just been on the phone telling me of a woman up in Edinburgh that was given a ticket for parking on double yellow lines. Fair enough, except the authorities had not got around to actually painting the lines yet because of the Summer hols. In the end it seemed that sanity prevailed.
The car of the Chief Constable of the local police force was nicked the other day. It seems that he came home from work, dropped the car keys on a table in the hall, didn't lock the front door, and then went into the garden to enjoy a cold tall one in the heat. Just what the coppers issued a warning about last week. Presumably they don't read their own pamphlets.
I have started flying Arthur again. He has more or less finished the moult, and though he is still fat as a butterball he does follow me around like a dog. I am hoping to get Bronwen on the wing this week-end; the freezer is getting empty.
The East Riding Council is driving me up the wall. After having to cancel the Fest because they kept asking for documents that we had given them several times, we are now having the same problem with the Youth Project. For anyone coming in late the Police force, the local Residents Association and Heimbu are (hopefully) building a soccer pitch and a handball pitch, a grafitti wall and an under cover shelter where the local kids can hang out. The money is available, contractors are ready to start, and the Council has just come back asking for the plans to be submitted again as they have somehow managed to lose the original ones. They even had the cheek to ask for another £500.- to cover costs of going through the planning application again.
Hot curry.
I hear a chap in Wales was clocked driving 102 miles an hour, desperately trying
to reach a lavatory after a superhot curry was playing havoc with his intestal
system. The coppers let him squat behind a bush before they booked him.
Thailand's latest fad in pets seems to be importing and breeding the Giant Madagascar Hissing Cockroach. They live for around 3 years and produces around 80 offspring every 60 days. You do the maths on that one. Thai officials have, and they are worried.
Norwegian police finally caught up with a lawnmower thief after a 6 hour chase covering more than 27 miles, when the mower finally run out of gas.
A newspaper in New Jersey was forced to apologize after headlining a fire in the local psychiatric hospital as "Roasted Nuts"
The Stav Hawking Club had its first outing today, and there is evidently much work needed yet to get the bird flying properly. Spike the saker falcon, went straight up and promptly disappeared. It took an hour driving around to locate him; without telemetry he would have been a lost bird. Then Bronwen was lobbed off and decided she was quite happy sitting high up in a tree where she fell asleep; it took us 2 hours before she deigned to come down. A quick check of the scales when I returned home showed they were way off; she was at least 2 ounces overweight. At last in desperation we flew Marcus's new Harris hawk which has been named Rover; he just like a dog; whistle for him and he'll come at once. He also likes to give people a number 1 haircut, but that is another story. He had one stoop at a rabbit which managed to go to ground, so we all agreed to call it a day. Not the most brilliant start to the season, but at least no bird was lost.
Paul, the local community police officer has just retired after 30 years of service, and we threw him a retirement party last Tuesday down at the pub. All the Beverley coppers, past and present, were there, and so were all our local villains, except Danny who sent his apologies in a letter wishing Paul all the best, only regretting he hadn't retired 3 months earlier, in which case he (Danny that is) would not be doing 3 years as her Majesty's guest for entering a post office outside normal opening hours.
"If God had meant us to vote, He'd have given us candidates."--Jim Hightower
It seems that the economists at Warwich University have finally found the key to immortality. In a report released last week they state: Quote... married men are less likely to die than batchelors.. un-quote.
We've just had a phone call from Aki telling us either to go vegetarian or buy our meat at the local butcher's, not the supermarket. As she has been working as a veterinary inspector at an abattoir for a few weeks in the Summer hols, I'll be inclined to take her advice seriously.